After posting his, erm, colorful introduction to the ranks of Elitish.com, the intrepid young Skeetz Epstein (who prefers to go by his penname, Da Skeetz) has been laying low for a while. Suspiciously low. That is until Elitish lead writer (and self-proclaimed “future superstar”) Jeff GoodSmith decided to post a response, simply informing Da Skeetz that “Creed is awful”.
Well, we at Elitish were surprised when, mere hours after the comment was posted, Da Skeetz had sent in a new article. And he was not too happy about Jeff’s comment. And because we at Elitish have terrible, boneheaded lawyers, our freelance contract for Da Skeetz explicitly said that we are not allowed to edit or censor any of his posts. Shit. We’re sorry
EY MANG! Ya, dis riter or wutevar dat mang kall hisself, “Jeff GoodSmith”, mang Iz finkin mo like Jeff BADSMITH mang, u no, cuz he a dik, mang. C dat pikshure up dere? Daz wut I fink dis Jeff Badsmith luks like. Iz naught shure wich 1, but he mang, a mouse or lik a frawg, mang.
FUCK U JEFF BADSMITH!
Lissen, missa “oh luk at me I rite listz ann shit, mang” o reely? IZ DA SKEETZ (u proba hurd a me) I KAN RITE LISTZ 2!
Lissen rite, dis JEff Badsmith, mang, he sed sum shit mang, bout da BESS BAND IN DA WURLD! U no, CREED? FUCKIN CREED!? Mang, dat Jeff Badsmith sayd dey wuz terrabal, ann Iz hoffended by dat shit mang
Mang, Jeff BAdsmith wuld proba say dey luk like douches. I fink dey luk like da hopposit of a douche.
So heers mah list for a billyun reesuns y da skeez (u proba hurd a me) iz a betta riter den dat Jeff BadSmith (a list, mang)
1 billyun- I fink shaykspeer 1nce sayd “Jeff Badsmith iz a asshole”. But gess wut? Shaykspeer dint rite dat. Da Skeetz rote dat. I no, ur mind iz esploded now.
Daz me. Daz da Skeetz.
Daz Jeff Badsmith. He evan kalls hisself a douche.
3- I 1nce rote a poem. No homo.
93,200- I rote a story 1nce were diz mang wuz kall da Skeetz, ann he maid a baby wiff dis womang. A URAPEAN WOMANG! Ann she had da baby ann Da Skeetz neva saw dem again. Did I menshun dat DAT ACTSHUALLY HAPPEND! But u fought dat wuz fikshun. Daz how good da skeetz iz.
1- fuck u, Jeff Badsmith