The story of Jeff GoodSmith is as long as it is fictitious. Born on a crisp meadow field in the heart of Austria, Jeff (or “that fucker” as he was known among the locals of his hometown) had a beautiful singing voice, until an unfortunate typing accident left him with a voice that sort of sounds like that guy who raps on the Islands song “Where There’s a Will There’s a Whalebone.”
Eventually, he moved to America (his musings on the subject can be found on his much-more-frequently-updated website, affotd.com) and was forced to learn about sports such as baseball, as per immigration laws of the late 1980’s (his sports writing occasionally pops up on www.theheckler.com).
But music has still remained a true passion, whether he’s playing truly awful songs on his self-taught guitar (it’s here if you’re curious, but the quality is quite poor) or recording weekly webcasts (as you can see on the website for Transistor Chicago). After a chance encounter with a genie during his time as an English student at Northwestern University, he wished for the ability to write incisive, witty, and fun articles about music. The genie fucked up, and what we were left with were the following articles (most of which were written for the now defunct elitish.com) where Jeff basically talks about bands he likes while swearing too much. Enjoy!